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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 12, 2008 (6:34 PM) Return to AmiHanyaki's blog
"10,000" BC... SUCKS!!!!
(I'm feeling weird)


"10,000" BC

I don't typically do movie reviews, but today I saw a movie so terrible that I just had to write about it.

A few months ago, I saw the trailer for the movie 10,000 BC and I couldn't wait to see it. Everything appeared to look accurate to what I would've considered Earth be like 100 centuries ago! complete with cavemen and mammoths. Well, I saw the movie today and they should have called it "10,000 BS" because I haven't seen a more historically inaccurate movie since The Land Before Time.


"Hey, you guys seen 10,000 BC yet? What a load of sh*t."

Where can I begin with what's wrong with this movie? I guess I could just say "everything," but I'd need to be more specific.

1) All of the main characters in the movie speak English. The only people who spoke other languages were African or Egyptian. This is b*llsh*t - I can imagine that imitating caveman language would be the easiest thing in the world: "Argghh. Brawrrrlll! Mmph Yaaarrr!"

B) There are dinosaurs in this movie. Well, kind of a hybrid between an ostrich and a Velociraptor. The last dinosaurs had been extinct for millions of years before this movie supposedly took place. I know it's fictional, but it's not called "10,000 BC, Plus Some Other Sh*t From 65 Million BC."



iii) ZzZzz - The movie is boring as ****. Aside from a few really sweet action-packed scenes, I found myself staring at the wall often and shifting uncomfortably in my chair as if I had a wicked case of hemorrhoids.

I'm typically a person who can at least find a few redeeming qualities in most of the movies I watch, but I can't help but feel like this movie was over-hyped. Save your time and money if you were thinking about going to see 10,000 BC. I'd recommend smoking PCP instead and watching the Discovery Channel during Dino Week instead.

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