Blog: soulseeker69 on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 40
Sign: Capricorn
City: Baden-Württemberg
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2009

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Back again...

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2008

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2009 (6:56 PM)

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Back again...

(I'm feeling contemplative)

Summer is coming to it's end. Once again. We had a fantastic trip to South Florida this year. I fell once again in love with the city of Miami. It's definitely the place to be - especially if you listen to electro/house music as I do. (wsssup shaaawdyy?) I love the lifestyle, the relaxed hispanic way of living and the colors and smells and foods of the place.

How fortunate are we, being able to travel all around the globe these days for a handful of bucks? Somehow, though, I am reaching a point where I've seen it all - from Coconut Grove with it's multi-million-dollar houses to the dreadful slums of downtown Bombay and from the artic circle to the african desert.

I need to come to rest, know what I mean? To settle down, like forever! For the rest of (this) life. This summer's journey wasn't one of great adventure (India or Russia was...or riding the bike for a few thousand miles across the continent...) but yet it gave be back something I've missed for years.

For the first time in a very long time I looked in people's eyes and saw their souls again. And where there is one big emptiness in the people here (Southern Germany) I found so many sparkling glimpses of... yes... LIFE! This country is mentally and emotionally dead. We don't have any emotions left - at least not many positive ones. But there is LIFE out there. A thought that gave me hope. And hopelessness has been my state of mind for quite a while now. Life is more than work, career, degrees or money.

What, if not positive emotions, is of any value at all? Remember those first vibes, back then, when you fell in love for the first time? The hopes and wishes you had, before they all betrayed you and destroyed your dreams? That's what I mean. The little things. The REALLY important things.

I refuse to give up my dream. I refuse to give up hope. And I refuse to let go of the search of that one special person somewhere out there. I am angry, mad at the world, for not finding you. But I refuse to accept things the way they are. I'm ranting at the Gods. (if there are any... I just wrote an essay about religion these days, well actually that's becoming another novel now...). It's not funny to be single for nine years! Not f****n funny at all.
Sorry. But that just had to be let out.

It will never be the same again. But you can revive the emotions connected to it. At the same time it's a big advantage, not to have to make the same mistakes all over again.

I'm working on a book about political theory. And I've been studying Thomas Jefferson lately. So, the great project is coming to a critical phase, in which I'll have to contrast the European way, the European idea of mankind to the American one. And, guess who's winning?

So, thanks again, many readers as you are out there, surprisingly, because this site is pratically dead now. But anyways, I'm back and drop a note every now and then.

I'd be more than happy to communicate with some interesting people around the globe.

PS. I read a great book this summer: The Philosopher and the Wolf by Mark Rowlands. Read it. You'll learn somthing about a lonely writer and his "dog". LOL.

PPS. Diego, my greyhound, is a big boy now standing at 30 inches to the shoulder and weighing 80 lbs... you can see him in the pics.

Category: Life

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