Blog: PrincessNothingless on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Status: Taken
Age: 20
Sign: Scorpio
City: Arizona
State: Arizona
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Blog Archive

2008

October

Does any one else have this problem?...
Beauty I fake
ah I'm scared!!
I thought I was alone
Scared .. No reason to be scared.
Hypochondriac
Pregnacy Scare
Girl problems
Stuck
Calling it Quits
The begining

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2008 (10:31 PM)

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Beauty I fake

So I work at a bar and as soon as I walk into the room I catch eyes. I dont know wheather its because I'm pretty or just a friendly face. I usually get the "How you doin?" or "Damn ma." Some thing like that, or as soon as I get behind the bar some one will lock eyes with me and I catch them stairing on and off. Through out the night I'm told I'm pretty and beautiful or gorgeous and hot. Right then I feel like I am but when I get home I fall off the high of my ego boost and I feel ugly. I have no self confidance without make up. My fiance tells me that I'm beautiful and I dont need make up at all. When I go out I cant go out with out doing my hair or make up or dressing up. The times I do go out without make up and stuff I dont feel beautiful, I feel like I have no real beauty..

Things I like about my self.
My eyes
My hair
My chest
My butt
My feet

Things I dont like
My stomach
My legs
My arms

This tells me that I either half to accept the things I dont like or work on them. I would be running every night or at least walking but there are alot of loose dogs that run around here and its not exactly the best neighbor hood. I'm scared to go out by my self at night. My fiance doesnt like walking or what ever but I feel like I half to. Because of my weight I'm scared to go to my physical. I lost alot of weight when I lived at my dads house, I would run around with my friends and eat once a day some times nothing but a bag of chips. Eventually they would end up getting thrown up because I would get drunk and let it all out. Then do it all over again the next day. Befor them I would walk every night because my ex didnt have a car so we would go out at 12am and walk around town till 6am some times 8am. When I met my fiance I started staying the night at his moms and we started hanging out every day. We would grab some fast food and go out only I didnt half to walk because he had a car. Then we got our own place and we eat nothing but fast food! Well I cook once in a blue moon. Even though we some times eat 2 times a day I feel like I'm killing myself. I want to go to the gym but I'm embarrassed by the way I look.. I have never been naked infront of my fiance :( and we have been together for 3 years... :'( ...

me.

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