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Complicated Life: Future Proof
(I'm feeling sleepy)
howdy, so i dont normally talk about my life butttttttt i thot id kind of touch base on some things that go on in my mind in a blog form every now and again...so im starting that today lol
so the last month or so has been kinda hectic..busy busy busy...and im trying to like be a million places at once lol...just stressful things, trying to maintain the balance between social life and scheduled life lol..most of my scheduled life invovles school stuff and various other works that require me to engage in massive amounts of paperwork blehhhhhhhhhhh lol
but getting everything into where it needs to be and on time can be quite stresseful PLUS trying to meet some of the obscene needs of offline friends lol...i get a certain amount of sanctity from chatting it up with online friends when possible during my alone time but lately its been hard to come by, even when im around the house..
normally my laptop sometimes can be a proboscis lol always attached to my mind and everywhere i go. but i havent had it around me much at all..so lately i find the only quaint time i have alone to make videos or chat are in the evenings and sometimes on the weekends..buttttttt i enjoy every second of it lol
so yes, i apologize if i havent been around much or talky..i put out a video when i can but lately when it comes to viewing ive gotten sloppy..butttttt im trying to fix said conundrum...so bare with me lol
but ya most of these things plus some unexpected events have kind of put me into more negative moods..however ive also recognized THAT and am currently puttin on that happy joker grin..so yes, my zen has been restored thankfully lol
on side notes, i was thinking about all these realizations ive come across lately..and there might be a few i share over time..but theyre mostly like seeing the grey area in most thot processes..like ill be knee deep in decisions and see that things are not always what they seem - nothing is black or white, right or wrong..and that alot of things are catored to comfort zones which overall i find kind of strange that i couldnt see that at 1st
but like one thing ive learned is there is no such thing as a safe zone..its typically an illusion to make ourselves feel better..but if u examine the safe zone closely u can see alot of it is to make sure our minds are comfortable with things going around bc we're "built to survive"..but going outside that comfort zone sometimes can prove to be an interesting venture...idk its really hard to explain, hope u find my meaning.
..but anywho ive kind of decided to embark on trying to be more versatile so to speak i guess..like releasing everything negative or any animosity i have towards anyone thats been in my life now or past, brushing it off and just kind of trying to be happy with myself and try to create try create a better atmosphere and whatnot.
trying to put some sort of map on where/what im gonna do with my life etc etc will make my head explode i think..so im trying not to overthink stuff lol..im known to hella overthink..but ya i feel like i just need to relax
im actually workin on a new vlog as we speak and maybe somethin else to, we'll see
4 the record i had an incident yesterday where i semi dyed my face another color lol...its fixed for the most part now, but im pretty sure i tore my face off lol..bah, but more on that in my next video
but to end things.. i guess im just in need of some rest and relaxation lol..hopefully i can pencil that in
bah. but future is inevitable...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TIME MACHINE? ;P lol
<3
much love lv sugar plums
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