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Damn Cycles.....
(I'm feeling indescribable)
Do you feel what I feel... The constant sentastion of disappointment? How often we hold on to lies just so we have something to hang on to. Heartbreak comes with life... love is usually a lie... And people usually let you down. I am so sick of things being my "fault".... maybe you just didn't do what was needed... I don't ask for everything I just want a little something special. Is that to much trouble? Stepping off your high horse for just one second to prove how you feel for someone else. Women want to be fought for... We want to see what you are willing to do for us. I dont ask for much... But apparently that is my "problem". All these crazy bossy obsessive girls get the trophy but here I am wanting nothing but happiness for you and then I am forgotten... Sorry I don't yell and scream and make huge scenes all the time. I am sorry that I would rather have a family and take care of them then have a career. I am sorry that I've watched to many fairytales and I see how things should work. Maybe hollywood did this to me. the super stupid sappy movies that give all girls like me hope that love does exsist. the kind of love that makes you sick to your stomach with emotion. to me that is what love is. A feeling so strong that it surpasses everything else. You don't forget about love... You dont give up on love. I'm not saying it isnt a very painful thing.. but when someone gives up so easy without a fight... makes me wonder...not to mention music. i hear these beautiful voices spitting out lines that make me quiver and Wonder... is this real... If so where the hell is it? But at the same time I hate it when I am sufficated with unrequited love... I can't help what my heart feels... But at least I am honest about it. I wish I could control it because then i would pick that certain person that has actually fought for me. i would choose them in a second if my heart felt the way that they want it to. But unfortunately once again i cant change my heart. maybe i am sick... maybe i dont want the person that is good for me... i want the person that has done nothing... haha man then you have got your highschool love.... The one you saw yourself marrying one day.... How do I know that it wasnt just bad timing... or how about the new hope of love... The one I haven't even discovered. I am still young but i have a feeling this is going to be a vicious cycle for a long time. but i cant settle for what might seem like a reasonable deal... i am going to wait and see... Who is willing to fight... Who is willing to show me that what they say is real. Words are just words... but actions... they show the truth. I am sorry to those that I can't love and I hope you know that if I could flip a switch I would in a heartbeat... and as for the rest of you... Prove it and quite making excuses... and the ones that have ended for good... goodbye and remember your actions are what proves you... not your words... so remember that next time you drop the one person that cares for you almost as much as your mom... I would have made you so happy its sickening. so all you out there just remember my advice... freaking start stepping it up a notch... buy your girlfriend flowers or make them dinner... Do something to show you love them or someone else might quickly take your place.
P.s.... you who are reading this... yeah this has to do with specific people but its also a very generalized blog... not excluding anybody... so even though you are saying to yourself that you arent that type of person... rethink and see if you have fought for what you have loved...
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