Blog: anotherbrianne on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Status: Taken
Age: 25
Sign: Capricorn
City: East Van
Country:

Canada

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dealing with the online/offline bina...
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MONDAY, MARCH 10, 2008 (10:21 AM)

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dealing with the online/offline binary

Yeah, most of you know what my schtick is:
Be yourself, be true and honest and don't compromise out of fear of what others will think, don't be afraid to be vulnerable...

yada yada yada...oh, and of course, I'm a hypocrite for not being able to live up to my schtick at all times, but I try my hardest.

This kind of brings me to the online/offline binary that people have constructed. Like most binaries, I don't buy into it. This is how I see it:

In the context of communities, I am a member of quite a few communities -my participation in them is debatable, but nonetheless, I am a member. To list a few, so that I can draw examples from them:
-livevideo
-livejournal
-UBC (my university)
-my apartment building
-my kid's school
Pretty much on a daily basis, I encounter both familiar and not-so-familiar faces within these communities. In general, I stop and chat with those I know, I acknowledge those who have seen me around and who I see around, and, if it seems tactful, I will introduce myself to those I don't know, but may see more of in the future. Pretty standard right?

Yes. So far, it seems like I'm able to act pretty consistently across the the online/offline border. But people DON'T always act consistently across the online/offline borders. Why? This can be summed up in a few points:
the anonymity of the online world
-it leaves people feeling less accountable for the things they do
OK, but why do these things anyways?
-the norms and etiquette of the offline world generally limit the extent to which people feel comfortable being outgoing and/or rude, therefore, the online world enables people to act in ways that are more unacceptable offline
-it is oftentimes cathartic to tell someone to shut the fuck up, because one doesn't need to be held accountable in the same way that we are held accountable offline
-it is equally cathartic to just let loose and lipsync or reveal your embarrassing secrets in a seemingly "safe" space

All this is exactly what I try to resist. I tell myself, if I would do it online, I should do it offline too. And vice versa. What is happening as a result? Well, I'm becoming more of an asshole and more revealing offline. Haha? But actually, I quite like it.

How to deal with trolls
And by trolls I just mean online-agitators in general. To me, this is someone who acts online in a manner that people are generally not used to offline. There are many great examples of agitators here on livevideo, those who make back-and-forth videos of other users simply to bash them... but what about offline? Let's think of an example:

If I were delivering a presentation of some sort at my university, it would be pretty uncommon for a colleague (either familiar OR unfamiliar) to yell out that I haven't done my research properly or that I like to have penises in my mouth. When I see these sorts of things happening online, I think to myself: What would I do if this happened offline? Well, I would probably give the person an awkward look and think to myself, "That was pretty untactful and rude and I'm not really sure what the point was of going about that in such a manner." AND, I'd probably say that too. So, if confronted with sort of tom-foolery online, that is what I'd do.

and on the flip side, there are also...

People who get trolled
This is kind of controversial in my opinion, so a disclaimer first: Just like no woman "is asking to be raped", no person (I don't think) is asking to be trolled. I say this first because I'm going to say something that people might not like:
Some people are more susceptible to being trolled
I know, I know, it does not justify such things happening to them, but let me explain what I mean, using the example I mentioned before. Imagine I'm delivering a presentation to my university, but instead of do my research and develop a thesis, I stand in front of the class and start bullshitting. I don't deserve to be told that I should have a penis in my mouth, but I know I'd probably be criticized for being such a fool.

BUT, what if I did do my research, and I just deliver the information really poorly? Like I'm boring, or I stutter, or my shirt is too tight? We know what happens if you do that sort of thing online. Is it justified? No. Does it happen anyways? Yup.

The thing I'm trying to say after all this is:
1. Assholes exist everywhere. Deal with it.
2. People who you would enjoy being an asshole to exist everywhere also. Deal with it.

In conclusion, I'd like to say, I'm fucking brilliant.

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1 2 3

Posted Mar 29, 08 by saintlouistim (

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This was brilliant... :) I like to read blogs where people actually know wtf they're talking about... I've always had respect for you Brianne... I knew from the beginning you were one of the "good ones"...
Don't change... "penises in the mouth"...that was funny!

Posted Mar 14, 08 by publicsafety1
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http://www.fbi.gov/contactus.htm

Please feel free to contact us with anything you may have. Have you been harrassed or threatend by this individual or any of his accomplices? If so or know of someone who has please contact us. Numerouse individuals are being investigated.

http://www.fbi.gov/contactus.htm

Posted Mar 13, 08 by Eight (

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You are fucking brilliant! :)

Posted Mar 13, 08 by investigate2 (

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Absolutely brilliant!

Posted Mar 13, 08 by StankyGeesehouse (

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You are fucking brilliant and I agree with you completely. Maybe if we could get rid of the trolls and trolleees then it'd be a perfect world. Hey you didn't do your research properly and you like to have penises in your mouth!
What now?

Posted Mar 12, 08 by Chig
oh dear

Posted Mar 11, 08 by 1WhiteCrow (

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I agree with thing one and thing two --- and with your conclusion.

Posted Mar 11, 08 by nobodyschild99 (

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You have just examined and hashed out the very concept of integrity and strength of character. I never communicated online until I came to Livevideo because of the very symptoms of online anonymity you mention. I used to have a profile description almost exactly like this blog and for some reason, eventually deleted it as people got to know me through showing my face and through my activities on the site. I thank you for sharing your views and I guess I'd just agree with the "end portion" of your blog. I give that advice to friends who get trolled. Its hard work sometimes to exercise self control when having someone dig at your weakness but Please...."consider the Source"..that always explains it all.....for me anyway..I love Brianne.

Posted Mar 10, 08 by TLDavis
I think the real challenge is to embrace the assholeness of oneself. Truth and reality do not allow for perpetual kindness. Some of the nicest people I know are lyin' sonsabitches (it's a word).
TL

Posted Mar 10, 08 by Chig (

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Show off.
You can be an asshole as long as you append "but it's just a character I play". Works well for many I've seen.