The funny thing about death is that no matter how well prepared you are for it, it's still a shock when it happens! 

My uncle was almost 82 and has been ill for about ten years. He's had good times and a good quality of life but there has also been the bad times, when he was near death but somehow survived. Since Christmas he has been in hospital five times. The gaps between the hospital stays have been getting shorter and the stays have been getting longer. 

When the news came through on Friday night that he had taken a turn for the worst I knew that the end had come. I had prepared myself all week for it but when it happened on Saturday night, it was like being hit by a bus. It wasn't the first time that I prepared myself for his death and maybe that's why it still surprised me.

I know that he has a long and mostly good life. Until he got sick he had as good a life as most of us can expect. I should be happy for the fact that he had this long life and now is suffering no more. For some reason, I don't understand, I feel very sad and all the energy has drained form me. There's a gap in my life, now that he's gone. 

It was good for him that he died. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that he would never have recovered and would have continued to suffer, it would have gotten worse as each day passed. So, why am I not happy for him? Shouldn't I be pleased that he has been saved all the pain and suffering?