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Age: 19
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Happiness?

WEDNESDAY, JULY 30, 2008 (8:03 PM)

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Happiness?

(I'm feeling contemplative)

I wonder...is it odd to feel genuine happiness in an area where happiness is usually fake, a cover-up for true emotion? Or have I simply convinced myself that I am feeling genuine happiness?

A little backround information may help...

Two of my close friends were going out for some time, the girl being my close friend Jackie and the guy being my friend Kyle...(I used to hate him, but we became very close friends). I had almost all of my classes with Kyle...he even admitted that I was the person he talked to the most. Within a few months, I started to question my relationship with him, whether it was really friendship or something more. At some point, Jackie and Kyle broke up...and I realized at that point that I really liked Kyle. But I was still figuring it out...and about the time that I did figure it out, they got back together and i had lost my chance. For the next 6 months or so, I did my best to try to convince myself that he was like a brother to me...but in the end, I finally accepted that although I had genuine feelings for him, they would never be returned. About two days after that, Jackie broke up with him, fearing that their relationship had gotten too serious. Kyle was crushed. I talked to him about it often...he was really hurt. I told Jackie about my feelings for him, and she started trying to do subtle things to help hook me up with him. Kyle and I talked more, and despite my feelings I told him I would talk to Jackie about it...try to put them back together, because he just looked so hurt. She didn't like the idea.
So, a few months pass, and the end of school comes...I end up telling him that I like him, even though I know that he still loves Jackie and that it won't work out between us for any length of time. But I told him anyway, because I knew I would regret it if I didn't.
We ended up going out for a month and a half this summer...and I was happy, but he wasn't. He says he tried to love me, but couldn't, since a part of him still wants Jackie back. So he broke it off. I was sad, but since I knew from the start it wouldn't work out, I recovered quickly. I was more worried about Kyle and how he was doing, but knew I couldn't ask...had no right to ask.
So Jackie sends me an email tonight...telling me that Kyle asked her if they could go out again, and told me that she wanted to know if she could, that she regretted leaving him and wanted to give it another shot. I felt happy...I want him to be happy. I told her yes, of course she could, and that I was happy they would be happy again. I wasn't lying, I really am happy...but even though it is real happiness, I still feel...odd. Am I really happy? Or is it a convincing enough fake happiness that it's convinced everyone...including me? Any imput is greatly appreciated...
And congratulations on reading this much! XD

Category: Love & Relationships

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Posted Jul 31, 08 by IceTsuki
Thank you so much, MapleMartin...that really helps. I try not to think of everything like a Christian...and I couldn't ask my sis because her instant reaction to everything is "pray about it", but I have a lot more trouble hearing from God than she does XD
So thank you very much...I think you're right. I think the weird feeling is just that I'm still hurting a bit...that's pass with time ^_^

Posted Jul 31, 08 by MapleMartin (

)
well, heres some christian advice on happiness......

happiness is a feeling of when you do something right, something that seems to be the right thing (ex, helping someone who is hurt,dadadadada) and then theirs happiness when you disconect yourself from the real world, and having all these little thoughts in your head. (ex, getting something you wanted, or going into your little "world") this right here is happiness in the state of feeling-soul, or the first type i described. this was the right thing to do. so try to not feel odd, think that this was the right choice, because kyle wants her, and jackie regrets leving him, because that is love, the greatest gift from God.