Blog: DaringDaver on LiveVideo.com

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Age: 51
Sign: Aquarius
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Hey, It's Frank!

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SUNDAY, JUNE 29, 2008 (4:14 PM)

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Hey, It's Frank!

Hey, It’s Frank!

About 20 or so years ago, I was standing in a nightclub, it was called the ‘Safari Club’, minding my own business, hunting women, when I feel a tugging on my arm. I turn to find a “tipsy”, shapely woman, with ample cleavage, in a tight dress (up to her waist) engaging me in conversation. After the “I won the lottery dance” subsided from within my mind, we began to converse. She called me by some other name, Frank I think it was. Well, I’m one always up for the role of a “joker”, and I follow up on her leads with general and basic appropriate responses for several minutes, concerning the people we supposedly both know and times she believes shared. She still believes I’m this ‘Frank’, and it’s becoming quite apparent by her continual gestures (playfully tugging at my arm, swishing of her head/hair, and her continual giggling over my numerous babbled inanites) she and this (real) Frank, are VERY, VERY good friends. A moral dilemma ensues upon my ever diminishing conscience. I look down unto the lonely ice cubes, of the very last vestiges of the drink-of many drinks, from within the very glass she’s loosely holding. Just then, two translucent animated figures, right out of a Warner Brothers cartoon rest upon the air, just above both of my shoulders. To my left, a surly reddish figure with protruding horns. To my right, an angelic whitish seraph with a halo above his head. Mr. Horns takes the lead, “What are you waiting for, get her another drink, and fast!” Mr. Halo gently retorts, “you mustn’t take advantage of her inebriated condition, for you’ll not be able to respect yourself in the morning, my son”. Mr. Horns leaving no second to waste chimes, “this chick has more moveable parts than a well engineered Swiss Watch, what are you crazy??? Bartender, over here bartender!!!” Mr. Halo attempts to speak, when Miss Swiss Watch takes hold on my arm and interjects, “let’s get out of here, Frank”. The “holy crap” alarm is ringing wildly in my head. I am quickly succumbing to base animal weakness, as if in a trance, when suddenly wholesome morning sunshine envelopes the smokey dim lit club into bright heavenly light, a harp begins to sound, and Mr. Halo calls out, as if the voice of God himself (or even Mom) were loudly commanding…”DAVID”…”DAVID”…”DAVID”. I answer in the same voice of my former 7 year old self, upon hearing once again, he couldn’t have ‘that toy’. “Ok, alrighty then”, all in my very best Jim Carey voice. I proceed to tell Miss Swiss Watch numerous times, I’m not the one she thinks I am, and she begins disagreeing with me. The debate finally ends upon the display of my ID from within my wallet, and the adventure abruptly ends. (Audience applause light now on!) Ok, ok, I know it’s a story that doesn’t exactly end up in Penthouse Forum or even Reader’s Digest, while even much less, a story with a woman less the proverbial and prurient “happy ending”.

Category: Life

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Posted Jul 20, 08 by wheresthesea (

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yes conscience is a very annoying thing to have lol

Posted Jul 17, 08 by SillyLeslie (

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Frankly, I found th tale very entertaining, David. (P.S. Next time tell her your middle name is David and some people call you that and go with it!) Some girl I liked years ago always called be Barbara and I never corrected her--unrelated story about names.

Posted Jun 29, 08 by B4Salk (

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ROTFL!!!! You're a good man My Friend.