Blog: cmublondie on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 19
Sign: Aries
City: Mt. Pleasant, MI
State: Michigan
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United States

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2008

March

I need some advice..

FRIDAY, MARCH 14, 2008 (1:30 PM)

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I need some advice..

(I'm feeling confused)

Ok, this may be a little long because I have a lot on my mind right now..

So I have this friend. His name is travis and I met him over Christmas break about 2 weeks before I was leaving again to go back to school (cmu is about an hour away from my hometown). When I first met him I was stricktly FRIENDS with him. However, me, travis, my best friend Ashley, and her boyfriend James (who is also Travis' best friend) all went to Traverse City together the weekend before Ashley and I had to go back to school. We all knew it was about to be CRAZY but I never thought what happened would actually end up happening. The Friday night that we were there, Ashley and James went some where leaving Travis and I alone in the room. He kissed me and then we just went to sleep. Just 1 kiss from him made me realize, wow I think I do really like this kid. So after that we started texting and talking to eachother every day. He was my best friend and I felt like I could tell anything to him. I knew that he felt the same way because he told me all the time how I was his "number 1 girl," but we were'nt dating at all, just messing around I guess. (If you haven't noticed already, I'm pretty open about things...) Since I go to school an hour away, though, I only saw him on the weekends unless he decided to come visit me sometime during the week. He worked an 8 to 4:30ish job so coming here wasn't really an option. However, he did sometimes manage to come and see me. One Tuesday night he even came up just to take me to a movie and hang out for a while. All of my friends thought that he liked me so much just from all the nice things he did for me and how he talked to me. I have never in my life met someone who was so genuine and honest, and who really understands the real me..
Well now for the bad part of this story. A couple weeks ago, out of the blue, Travis was driving me back to school after spending a whole weekend with me. He seemed a little wierd to me, though, just by the way he was acting but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. So he dropped me off and I went into my dorm room. Well, like 2 minutes later I get a text from him saying how he thought that we should just be friends and we shouldn't be doing "shit" with eachother anymore. I was SO confused. This was out of nowhere! And I just was so upset about it because I thought we were going somewhere. Luckily for me, I tend to cry for a whole night about something, then I am over it. From that moment on I decided that no matter what happened later with our friendship, I never wanted to date him. I decided that he wasn't the kind of guy I would want as a boyfriend because he makes rash decisions out of the blue and then doesn't act the way that he should about it. The next weekend I saw him and we ended up hooking up. Now, any girl would be very confused by this, so I was no exception to that. I didn't know what he wanted from me. I wasn't sure if he was just using me as an easy hook up or if he changed his mind and wanted something more. I didn't know what to think but I knew in my head that we would never work out as a couple, so I tried to remember that when temptations were there.
Now here is the part that I will need a little help on. Two weekends ago, I walked in on Travis and one of my good friends Ritam making out on my friends bed. I was so shocked I just started crying.( I was also a little drunk so my next actions would have been a little less exaggerated if I wasn't intoxicated.) I ran out the door of my friends apartment, into the freezing rain, and stood there crying my eyes out. I was maybe out there for 5 minutes when Travis walked out looking for me. He told me that he was just trying to find a girlfriend now and that he was lonely and wanted someone there for him. I understood this but I told him I wasn't comfortable with him dating one of my good friends because, even though I didn't want to date him, I still wasn't completely over him. I still liked him a lot and the thought of one of my friends taking my place in him life was not settling well for me. He reassured me that I would always be his number 1 girl no matter what and so I told him I would be okay. Well the next day I talked to Ritam about everything because she could tell I was mad at her about everything. I told her that I didn't care if they were friends and hung out and stuff but I didn't feel comfortable with them dating eachother right away just because it was so soon after we made it STRICTLY friends between us. She said okay but I guess what she ended up doing is going to Travis and telling him that I told her not to talk to him.
This past weekend when I was partying, I guess I called Travis like 13 times both Friday and Saturday. He didn't call me back at all and I really don't understand whats going on. I know calling him that many times wasn't a good idea but I honestly DO NOT remember ANY of either night. That may sound really bad but I truthfully do not remember calling him at all. I also only called him twice on Monday, once to see how his job interview went, and the second time was when he asked for his shirts back and I just needed to talk to him. Last night I was crying all night because he asked for his shirts back. This has some sentimental value to me because when he gave me them, he said that he didn't want those shirts back until we weren't friends anymore. So now I am thinking that he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore because I called him too much and I supposedly told Ritam not to talk to him. I ended up on the phone with my friend Rico last night, who happened to be with Travis, and he told me those were the reasons he didn't want to talk to me right now and that he still wants to be friends but needs a breather.
I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I thought I knew him well enough to know when I was coming on too strong. The actual story behind the whole Ritam thing though is that I talked to her about everything Friday night again and I told her that she should start dating Travis because he is such a good guy and they would be so cute together. I thought I was being a good friend. Apparently he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. He won't even talk to me for five minutes about it. Nothing. I feel like he is being VERY immature about everything but I'm not sure what I should do.
So I need someones advice.. Do I hold on to the wonderful friendship that we had? Telling him secrets that I've never before told anyone in my life. Hanging out all day , even doing nothing just passing the time together. Staying up all night talking on the phone about the crazy days we had. Going home every weekend and having a crazy good time with him and my best friends. Or do I give up and leave it at that? Remember the good friend I once had and hope I will someday meet someone just as amazing or even better than he was to me. I don't know what to do....

3/14/07
OK. new update.. 2 days after I wrote this he ended up texting me and telling me that he wanted to hang out with me and had been thinking about me all day. He was in Florida for a week so i was confused but apparently he missed me a lot and he told me that he could "see himself dating me"... now i didn't get myself too excited because I know how he is and I never know when he will change his mind about something.. Well we decided that we weren't going to do anything with other people and that we would talk about things when he got back. So now he is back and we kind of had our talk. Now he thinks that he doesn't need a girlfriend right now because he is tired of girls causing him "grief and stress"...... I think I have officially given up, even if he is the most amazing person I ever met. I'm not sure I can wait around anymore and allow myself to be thrown around. Soooooo disappointing...

Category: Life

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Posted Feb 26, 08 by DjMafoo (

)
i am going to have to agree with both of them as well... just try and find some closure yourself instead of trying to hold onto something that isn't there. It takes 2 halves to become wholes on their own before they can become a whole together and obviously hes not ready for it... that his choice. Don't let it affect your life... you still got alot of it left :)

Posted Feb 26, 08 by gllafc
Sorry you are going through this. It sounds bad. My advice is to have nothing more to do with him. Nothing. Period. End of story. Sorry to be so blunt but he's no good.

Posted Feb 26, 08 by Brandy77 (

)
I say you drop him like a bad habit, Girl! Sounds like he either met someone else and didn't want to make a commitment or he was just out for a good time and realized you weren't givin' it up and he moved along. Either way, it was crappy and he doesn't deserve ya!

*Smoochiez!*
Brandy