For me, the theme for the last couple of years seems to be Loss. The loss of friends from death and simply drifting apart, the death of my beloved poodle of 10 years, the loss of my faith and with it the society and work I did in the church, and the big one ... the estrangement from our son and his family. ClayLavl, in his video has asked how one lets go. This question is timely for me because it has recently been suggested to me by my professional friend to look up the grief process and to simply "be aware" of where I might be in the process. This is what wikipedia has on grief:

"Some researchers such as Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and others have posited sequential stages including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, which are commonly referred to as the "grief cycle". As research progressed over the past 40 years, many who worked with the bereaved found stage models too simplistic and instead began to look at processes, dynamics, and experiences common to all. John Bowlby, a noted psychiatrist, outlined the ebb and flow of processes such as Shock and Numbness, Yearning and Searching, Disorganization and Despair, and Reorganization."

"To be aware" of where one is in the grief process, according to my esteemed friend, is vital and to honor that awareness. From loss and grief can come health problems...to be disorganized (where I am in the best of times) can also be debilitating and can cause problems in other areas of one's life such as relationships, employment, etc. At any given time, I can easily think that I am in all the processes at the same time!

As I get older, I have thought, and with my penchant for befriending people older than myself, I am likely to experience loss all the more. A depressing thought. And yet, it is not only those of a more mature age that suffer loss. Loss is with us throughout our lives. The young have the opportunity to experience loss quite as much as their elders. With every choice, there is a loss. In each stage of life, there is loss. The loss of what could have been but will not be, the loss of one's younger self...

If the loss involves a relationship, Maya Angelou once said it the best I have heard it. Whether the relationship was a positive one or a negative one, to tell the one going, even if just to yourself to "Go with God". To adopt that attitude, for me, has been the most helpful of all. To give them to God. They are His after all. (And for those of you paying attention, it is a more effective tool when one's faith is intact.) *sigh*

But back to my esteemed friend's point... "to be aware". That is all. Not to trivialize the loss but to give time and emotion to it. Allow oneself to feel one's feelings. To say to oneself, I am suffering a loss, is very healing. It is better to experience loss and grief consciously rather that unconsciously. You are fragile and vulnerable during this time so Take Very Good Care of Yourself.