Blog: Tanisha on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 23
Sign: Scorpio
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2008

March

More!! randomness
More Randoms!!
The Beginning of a Good Thing
Well Hello!

MONDAY, MARCH 10, 2008 (9:59 PM)

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More Randoms!!

(I'm feeling contemplative)

It’s hard to think romantic thoughts about you, even though u make me wanna smile. I fear getting hurt, but I fear how it wasn’t always inevitable. To love someone, it seems, is to give them every inch of yourself and the hurt comes when they don’t want it. I am scared u will see me and understand me and not want me, I am scared that I will show the dark side of me too soon and u will run. Sometimes I feel too intense and when I start fires, no one can contain them. I like u so much and it terrifies me. I’m afraid I will set u on fire. I like to think everyone likes to be held, and everyone likes to be loved, but I can only speak for myself. I want to tell u that my heart desires to be with you and to be loved by you, and I want to promise it will last forever. I wish I could explain the uncomfort inside me but I fear u will be uncomfortable to.
…

Its that time. That time where I re-think my decisions and re-evaluate based on new information. Why do I get so scared of relationships? Is it irrational or necessary? I feel like, because I’m “beautiful” men want to control it. They want to know its theirs, and only theirs.
…

Being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world. Its independence, Its knowing that you exist even if the rest of the world doesn’t. What it isn’t are the small things.
…

So I’ve recently discovered that I have very high standards for women. Atleast in regards to respect. I have the most respect for the women who do not stand out as necessarily feminine, but stand out more so based on their resemblance to the features that should be prized most in men. That is level headedness, the ability to understand without judgement and irrational emotions, it’s a degree of sophistication that arises from the desire to be viewed as professional and intelligent, not sexy and feminine. While I see nothing wrong with being sexy, I believe it is the wrong approach for a female to take when she is trying to gain the respect of all her peers, including those in the academic, male, world. Sexy, when it is found outside of the home and the bedroom, is merely a trick for females and a weakness for men. It is never a challenge to make a man desire you sexually, it is never an accomplishment, because men are easily draw by sexuality but do not respect it. It is the easy way to get what you want and therefore the least respectable. When a female chooses to prize and emphasize her intelligence and rational thought, she is choosing the harder more complicated route of achievement, and therefore can be respected for her dignity, pride, and achievements, because for her, it was not something that was easy, but yet she did not give in and showed superior strength in comparison to other female competitors.
As soon as a girl starts to let herself believe that being sexually desired by a man is something that is worthy of respect and pride, she is falling into a trap.

Category: Writing & Poetry

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