Blog: laursky on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Age: 23
Sign: Capricorn
City: florida
State: Florida
Country:

United States

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Blog Archive

2008

May

SO FUNNY!

TUESDAY, MAY 20, 2008 (10:51 PM)

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SO FUNNY!

(I'm feeling bouncy)

Subject: A summary of this year's e mails

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the
glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl
(Penny Brown), who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th
time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000, that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like
a water buffalo on a hot day
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if
I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch
the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping
gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make
these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the micro wave because it causes
cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the
microwave anymore because it will blow up in my f ace...disfiguring me for
life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with
a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed-Ex since they are
actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,
Singapore and Uzbekistan
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now
have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet, but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death
when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the
parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting
underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain
gas companies!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the
next 7 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00
PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's
second husband's cousin's beautician...
Have a wonderful day....
Oh, by the way.....
A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study,
has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their
e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late

Category: Blogging

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Posted May 29, 08 by crazyFARVA13 (

)
Hey Lauren, I decided to check a few peoples blogs today for stimuli... Damn, I am not regretting it one bit! I also like the ones that troll/psych for your attention and I love the Nigerian scam ones... in fact I often toy with those guys! Hahahaha I gotta say, those emails make me laugh pretty hard too! You have a wicked sense of humour... :-) I'm glad you wandered into my path in life, I will forever cherish it.
laterz hun!

Posted May 27, 08 by earlsworld
I'm still waiting for my $25,000 check from Bill Gates. It has been over 4 months when I sent that stupid e-mail to 15 people and I still haven't got Jack shit. I just received that e-mail again from a friend of mine last week. I am new to computer and have only been online for 6 months. My first day on yahoo's messenger I chatted with a girl for over 2 hours. Come to find out she says she is from Nigeria and wants to marry me. Then she begged for money for food. Then this hot Russian chic sent me pictures and e-mails for over 2 months. She said she was moving to the states in a few months to be a dentist with a 2 year visa. She wanted to work close to me and be my friend. Well when she finally was supposed to move here she concocted a story how she wrecked her car and was $1,500 dollars short and wanted me to help her out. I new it was B.S. from the start but I went along wit it. You should see the pictures she sent. Had to be a model or Putin's daughter. Stupid asses. lol