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Tee's Step by Step Recovery program. (Part II)
(I'm feeling accomplished)
Week 3 - Act out and acting up.
Clearing the hurdles of week 1 and 2, I now found myself on the home stretch.
At first it's hard to picture your life without that certain person. Even if the length of your relationship
wasn't what would be usually marked with some sort of greeting card or special day, if you let someone in your
life and there are real feelings involved who's to say what is and is not a significant relationship?
Hence the need for a step by step recovery program.
Week 3 is all about claiming your single self. Do things that are different. Think outside the box. Take chances.
Make choices that you'd under normal circumstances you may regret but in this instance, it just feels good.
But first, a little background info
Halfway through week 1 it was my proud duty to host a huge fundraising party for the theatre company
that I'm involved with. At around 11:30 I was hopping in a car to go do the 2nd beer run of night.
As I crossed the lawn in my party hosting finest I passed a very familiar floppy head of hair.
I thought perhaps my eyes were thrown by my lack of night vision.
Before I climbed into the driver's seat, I went to up my good guy friend who was manning the door
and giving out the wristbands. He was standing talking to the floppy haired mystery guy who turned out
to be my one-nighter from a few months earlier.
There he was. Still Texan. Still short. and checking me out.
It was awkward. He had made several attempts to get in contact with me. All of which I ignored.
I said a quick: "Hey!" Then told my friend Sam that I was taking his car because we were running low on supplies
again. He handed me some cash from the cover charge funds and then as I walked away my little texan friend
called after me, and handed me a twenty. Wanting to contribute to the fundraiser. I could have taken that another
way. But I knew it was sincere.
By the end of the night I had been trapped into conversation with him at least 3 times. And before I knew
it I was agreeing to let him take me out. Because he "wanted to get to know me better."
Which brings us to the start of Week 3.
Step 1 - rebound.
I had been playing texting tag with the Texan now known as Cody, ever since the party.
One night I was feeling a little bored and a little restless after work.
One of those times where regardless of what happens you just feel like being around of straight male.
Plus i figured I couldn't avoid him or drag him along forever.
But when he offered to come by my apartment and pick me up I decided that I needed to play this off as not a date.
I changed out of a much cuter outfit that I had been wearing all day and put on jeans and a hoodie.
By this time it was 11:30 so I didn't think that this *ahem* outing with Cody was going to be much different
than the first time I hung out with him. When I went down to his car, he got out, hugged me and opened the
car door for me.
uh oh. this was an actual date.
We made the usual small chat about what we felt like doing. I figured it would eventually disolve to just
going back to his place but then he looked over at me and said:
"How about the beach?"
I paused, and reflected.
How many times had I tried to get The Boy to do something, anything spontaneous? It was like pulling teeth.
The most impulsive thing I ever got him to do was go to In and Out and get milkshakes at midnight. We then listened
to humourous parody songs on his i-pod.
Moment of relfection over,
I looked over at Cody and smiled.
"The beach would be.... good"
"Cool, which one?"
" Uh.... pft. Malibu?"
"Sounds great."
And with that we got on the 405 North. And the rest of the night unfolded almost perfectly. Will enter the books
as one of the best dates I've ever been on.
Had I been with a guy a really liked I would have swooned.
It's probably better this way.
It's too soon to swoon.
Cody is by no means someone I can see myself with. But knowing that I had gone out with another guy and had a great
time a mere 15 days after my break up felt pretty darn good.
Step 2 - Do something you've never done before.
Another part of my personal healing process came when a brand new diner opened up a few block from my apartment.
The timing could not have been more perfect. My former favourite diner that used to be my safe haven was now
tainted. It was the location of my first date with The Boy.
That being said I haven't darkened it's door since.
So the night after my latenight beach adventure I was sharing some highly over priced drinks with my homosexual
none romantic life partner. Also known as the gay best friend. By $12 drink number 2 we decided our wallets
couldn't take this beating. So we paid the check and stepped out into the night. We were in search of a cheaper
watering hole. We found ourselves at the grossest gay bar I have ever been in. But it had one thing the other
places didn't.
$5 drinks.
and
karaoke.
After the right amount of vodkas and crans my friend and I coaxed eachother into signing up for karaoke.
the clientelle belted out off key versions of the Cure and Simon and Garfunkle. My associate and I strutted up to
the mic and belted out "Good Morning Baltimore" from Hairspray. Upon holding the last note for the full 12 counts
we dropped the mics and ran out of the bar in hysterics, as all the patrons gaves us a standing ovation.
Step 3 - Alter your physical appearence.
This is probably the most questionable step in the recovery process. But there is something so empowering about
doing something to change yourself that is blatantly obvious. You immiediately break at least one form of
association that you have with your former significant person.
ie. When we were dating I had long hair but now I don't.
Changing your physical appearence can also be a huge confidence booster. In my case I needed to do something
that seemed a little extreme as comapred to the girl that used to date The Boy. So by 2am on the same night
of my karaoke debut I had fabulous pink streaks in my hair. circa christine aguilara, "come on over".
By the end of week 3 I had several great stories to tell, a new look and a new bounce in my step. All this
positivity was going to be needed for Week 4.
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