Blog: Kat.Ballou on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Age: 19
Sign: Leo
City: Boston
State: Massachusetts
Country:

United States

Email Blog to a Friend

	Today	Week	Total
Posts	0	0	16
Comments	1	1	157
Views	4	38	1,571
Thumbs Up	2	2	252

Blog Archive

2008

August

July

soggy blog-too long.
The day I wasn't raped and killed

June

May

April

March

SATURDAY, JULY 26, 2008 (12:59 AM)

Return to Kat.Ballou's blog

The day I wasn't raped and killed

Every day when I get home from work, I ride my bike to a 3/4 mile trail near my house, which ends at a pond. I don't usually see other people there.

So again today I rode to my pond without coming into contact with anyone. I laid my bike down, climbed my tree and relaxed. (childlike? Yes. Feeding into the "hippie" label I've received on this site? Yes. lol) When I came down, there was a man across the pond. For some reason my heart jumped when I saw him. I hadn't heard him or even noticed he was there when I was in the tree. I looked around and my first thought was there is absolutely no one else around. The trail goes back deep into the woods. We were alone.

In my mind I was as good as raped and killed. I could try to kick him in the nuts but from what I could see from across the water he was much bigger, and certainly stonger than me. My head was racing with all the awful things he could do to me. Things were not looking good. I kept my eye on him while pretending to sift through the grass. He didn't have a fishing pole, no bike. Did he follow me here? Then I realized he was looking at me. Right at me. He started to walk my way. I picked up my bike and fumbled in the pouch behind the seat, to make it look like I was getting out my cell phone, which I hadn't actually brought with me. I wanted to get on my bike and race to the opening of the trail, but there was no point as it was between he and I, and he would surely get there first. I waited. As he came within 10 feet of me he spoke.

"Beautiful out here, isn't it?"

yeah.

"I used to come out here with my wife"

So as it turns out, they guy's wife died a few years back, and his daughter, who he said was around my age, moved out of state with her much older boyfriend and doesn't call. Sounds like it could be a sob story to tell your rape victim in order to butter her up. But it wasn't. We talked casually for something like 10 minutes, and I said I was going to go. Mostly because I was getting feasted on by mosquitos--possibly a fate worse than an evening homicide at the pond.

Am I trained as a female to mistrust all men? I think it's sad that within the context of the world I know, I am conditioned to expect the worst. Is it worth the conscious effort to see the good in humanity, or is such an outlook just another weakness to be preyed upon?

On the ride back, I took more notice than before of the swampy creek that lines the trail.

Perfect place to stash a body.

99 Views | 40 Thumbs Up | 24 Comments

Add Comment | Email

Comments & Responses

Post Comment

1 2 3

Posted Aug 2, 08 by MasterOfTheControl
For the record...most of these comments below are stupid and they completely missed your point.

I think you are brilliant. <3

Posted Jul 30, 08 by spacemonkey1310 (

)
Survival instincts don't make you a bad person.

Being a trusting fool? Meh.

Posted Jul 29, 08 by nobodyschild99 (

)
we hear ya...I grew up in NY and if it makes you feel any better for having that instinct in your belly that sends out warnings to your nervous system..it is rightly so...however sad it may be. I've had to 'escape" on more than one occasion even while in motion on my bike..I love to ride to walk and to be out at night but just cant do it without all my senses hard at work....i LOVE it when I meet someone who proves to me there are good folks out there who walk the same way we do...then its all good...

Posted Jul 29, 08 by Trinith
You'll have to look very, very hard to see the good in most people, but it's there. You know why I feel this way, and there's really nothing I can do about it. Every time I see someone the first thing into my mind is how much damage can they do to me, my stuff, or that person standing over there. I'm always on my guard because of it, and a lot of people get the impression that I'm closed off, and that I'm just another prick they don't need to talk to. It sucks, but thats life right? All I can say is to give people a chance, but to always guard yourself at the same time, just don't make it obvious that that's what you're doing, as it will unconsciously make the other person defensive as well.

Posted Jul 26, 08 by DanielofKy (

)
I hate that humanity has robbed people of being able to enjoy climbing a tree.... but what I hate most is the next time climbing a tree comes to mind , ( as a muse of sorts ) I'm afraid you will only remember the "Im as good as raped or killed" feeling, and wont go at all. To be put on one toes is one thing... to be robbed of the moment completely is heartbreaking. *sighs*

Posted Jul 26, 08 by LVbianSynic (

)
Hehe
I love your writing.
I've had many of these types of moments- I hate that I have, too.

Posted Jul 26, 08 by SillyLeslie (

)
I say better to be pleasantly surprised by your non-rape, non-murder than the other way around. "Hey, look at the nice guy over there..maybe we can have a nice chat"....Another body stashed by a creek. I hate those surprises. I say keep your expectations low and be pleasantly surprised more often.

You must write short stories, if you have not begun already, I smell a writer on this page and the aroma is good like fresh brewed coffee on a cold winter morning.

Posted Jul 26, 08 by TheMadHatter (

)
lmao @ the end.
Well the way I sees it Ballou, is it's best to expect the worst out of humanity because more often than not, that's the case, and on the occasion that someone actually does do right by you, you can appreciate it even more knowing how rare that is in this world.
That's my two cents, also better safe than sorry, just sayin ;) lol
I never give people the benefit of the doubt, I'm positively evil :)

Posted Jul 26, 08 by ooTheBoogieManoo (

)
I'm glad you changed your mind and didn't kill him or was it only the mosquito's that saved his life and just how many trips have you made to the swampy creek? I'm scared of you!