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Age: 101
Sign: Capricorn
State: Massachusetts
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2008

November

Dreamy
The Marriage
The Bet

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2008 (8:20 AM)

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The Marriage

As we walked along the beach we stopped to listen to them recite vows to one another. The sun was setting as they professed their undying love. Jessica said to me "We should do that." I said, "I give it two years tops." She shook her head at my lack of romanticism.

Gay marriage wasn't legal anywhere in the US then, so it wasn't really something to consider in my mind. Some gay couples had "commitment ceremonies," which I actually found embarrassing, like someone trying to join a society that had rejected them.   But Jessica wanted to have a ceremony. She said, "we could do it on the beach and we could write our own vows and we could invite our friends and family." I said, "If we ever do a thing like that, it would have to be completely private. Or, maybe we could go to a Vegas chapel and get 'married' by Elvis and recite a cat-in-the-hat type vow. 'I will love you in a box, I will love you in socks...' How about that, that'd be fun, right?" "No, forget it," she said.

A few years ago gay marriage was legalized in the state of Massachusetts where we live. The first day it was legal, the city of Cambridge performed marriages around the clock for 24 hours. The city clerks dressed black tie and people celebrated in the streets.   It was wonderful. Jessica and I decided to get married in Provincetown on Memorial Day.

We applied for a marriage license in Boston and were told to come pick it up the next day. When we went back to get our license we were told that we could not have it, because our wedding date was less than three business days away and there is a mandatoriy three day waiting period. The clerk then told us that we could request a waiver of the waiting period from a judge and she directed us to a courthouse a few blocks away.

We completed the request form and paid the $15 fee and were told to have a seat, someone would come get us.   A uniformed court clerk came in and said "Follow me." As we followed him down the hallway, he explained that a divorce hearing was ongoing, but the judge had agreed to take a break in that case to hear our request. He told us to stand in the back of the courtroom and wait for the judge to call us to the bench.    When we entered the courtroom, I looked at the judge and saw he was an older gentleman and thought "I hope he's not a conservative."   Another uniformed clerk was standing at the back of the courtroom. There was an attorney and a woman seated at a table on the left and another attorney and a man seated at a table on the right.

The judge said "We'll take a brief break while I hear another request very quickly." Both attorneys and the man and the woman turned to look at us. The judge waived us forward and I whispered to Jessica "You do the talking."   We approached the bench and the judge said, "You are requesting a waiver of the three day waiting period to get married. Explain why you need this waiver."   Jessica said, "Your honor, my partner and I have been together 20 years, so this is not a rash decision for either of us. We planned our wedding for memorial day, it's all set, people are coming in for the wedding. We thought the waiting period was three calendar days, not three business days so we mistakenly counted the weekend." The judge looked at Jessica and he smiled, then he looked at me. He paused and then he said the words that I will not forget for the rest of my life. "It will be my honor to grant this waiver and issue a license for you to get married. Congratulations ladies." We both said "thank you, your honor" and we turned to leave the courtroom.

As we were walking toward the door, the uniformed clerk in the back of the courtroom said "congratulations" and we said "thank you." The attorney seated next to the woman said "congratulations" and we said "thank you." Then the attorney seated next to the man said "congratulations" and we said "thank you," again. When I looked over at that attorney, the man next to him who was getting a divorce smiled and gave me a nod.

Outside the courthouse I said to Jessica "Can you believe that?" She said, "That's why we love New England."

Postcript: Same sex marriage was legalized in Massachusetts in May 2004. Contrary to dire predictions about the negative effect it would have on "traditional" families, four years later the divorce rate among heterosexual couples in this state remains the lowest in the nation.

Category: Love & Relationships

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Posted Nov 6, 08 by NatureJunkie (

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I first read this blog months ago and I have thought of it several times since election day, because as you know, it appears that fear and bigotry held sway in California when voters passed Proposition 8 to eliminate the freedom of same-sex couples to marry. I especially love your postscript.

You two are freedom fighters, and you have my admiration.

Posted Nov 5, 08 by LeighRichards (

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You both have what many people are still looking for...a loving, long-term, committed relationship.
This is a lovely story.
xoxox

Posted Nov 5, 08 by Curly (

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A wonderful story!

Posted Nov 5, 08 by KennyERJ (

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Thanks for sharing your Marriage experience. So great to hear the Judge and so many people congratulating you two instead of making cruel or negative comments.
And I'll say it again, "Congratulations!"
Take care you two.
Kenny

Posted Nov 5, 08 by surfcottage (

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should have moved to Canada... its WAY more better... :) I love this story... it touches me xoxo

Posted Nov 5, 08 by AnnelidaFilms (

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Beautiful story. By the way, Susan and I actually went the marriage-by-Elvis in Las Vegas route. It's funny how many people actually consider that. Ain't love grand?