Gerald climbed the Mountain of Ignorance to confront the wise man known only as Misplaced Chivalry.

As he reached the summit of the three foot molehill, Gerald gazed upon the old wise man. Long of hair and beard, Misplaced Chivalry smoked contentedly from the hookah near his feet. The long apron strings tied about his body stretched far back into the village, where they were still secured to the wise man's mother as she toiled in the kitchen of his childhood home.

"Master," Gerald began. I wish to seek the path of manly righteousness!"

"Ah, Grasshopper," Misplaced Chivalry began. "You must first recognize the most important tenet of being a true man among men!

"And what is that, Master?" Gerald asked.

"You must never attack a woman! Women are the jewel of humanity, and are never wrong! They never 'cry wolf', and they never EVER, tell a lie!"

Gerald pondered these deep pronouncements. "Master, I understand physically assaulting a woman is wrong. But what if a woman accuses me of wrongdoing?"

"Then you MUST have done something wrong!" Misplaced Chivalry boomed from his mountaintop. "Never question a woman's word! They are incapable of lying or twisting the truth to their own ends! That is only the purview of men!" Misplaced Chivalry spat on his balls in disgust as he finished speaking.

"But Master, how to I protect my reputation from someone of the female gender who would tell tales of me that aren't true?"

Misplaced Chivalry struck Gerald with a wrapped sturgeon his mother prepared for his lunch. "You are not listening, Grasshopper! Women do not lie! There dwells not one bone or sinew of maliciousness in their bodies! Rest assured, if you are accused of wrongdoing by a woman, then you MUST have committed the atrocity you are accused of!

Gerald rubbed his face as he pondered the Wise Man's words. "So, I should never respond to attacks upon my character that are indeed untrue? I should never point out that someone is batshit crazy, or accusing me of evils with absolutely no proof whatsoever?"

"Only if those attacks come from men!" Misplaced Chivalry took another long drag from his hookah. "Only we men are capable of such deceit and outright falsehoods!" The Wise Man spat into his lap once again. "If women ruled, there would be no war, no strife. Our farts would smell as the lemon fields in the early summertime."

"But Master," Gerald offered, "What of Catherine the Great or Queen 'Bloody' Mary?"

"OFF MY MOUNTAIN!" Misplaced Chivalry bellowed at Gerald. "You will never be a true man by questioning the integrity of women, no matter what they do!"

So ended Gerald the Gullible's quest for true Manhood. For he could never see the untarnished essence of women.