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Blog Archive
2008
April
Show Some Respect For the American F...
Victory Over Pornography & Sex Addic...
Fitness # 2 - Motivations to Exercis...
Fitness #1 - Listen to Your Body
Bring Corporal Punishment Back to th...
Keeping Your Christian Marriage Stro...
A Testimony of Obedience, #1 - Learn...
FRIDAY, APRIL 25, 2008 (12:59 AM)
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Victory Over Pornography & Sex Addiction Through the Word of God
(I'm feeling
accomplished
)
Do find yourself drawn to pornography on a daily basis, whether it be internet, magazines or videos? Do you find yourself being aroused more by pornography than your significant other? Do you find yourself visualizing the images you saw in pornography as you are being intimate with your significant other? Finally, is pornography and self-gratification your drug of choice when you are stressed or emotionally upset? If you answered "yes" to any of the questions above, pornography addiction is a part of your life, man or woman.
I know firsthand because I was addicted for 30 years, helplessly caught in a repeating cycle of pornography and excessive sex and/or self-gratification like a pothead who couldn't put down his joint or a drug addict who had to have just one more fix. Pride had me too shame to call out for help or even admit that I had a problem at all. You see that's where this addiction is the most dangerous - in your secrecy, in your shame, in your denial, in your guilt, in your feeling too unworthy to be used by God, in your stubbornness to admit that you do indeed have a problem in this area. For the longer you stay quiet the stronger the addiction gets and even allows you to justify to yourself that this is just normal behavior.
It wasn't until I gave my life to the Lord and sought to live like Christ that I began to see a turn around. Scriptures began to ring in my head (see http://www.anewdirection.org ) and every sermon on television, in church or on the radio seemed to be talking about the dangerous spirits of lust and what the Word says about them. That's when I realized that this addiciton was truly spiritual warfare; good vs evil, the old you vs. the new you, the lustful horny you vs. the you who has those lusts under control.
I have been delivered from pornography addiciton for 14 years now and delivered from self-gratificataion addiciton and sex for over 5 years. Why didn't they happen at the same time, you might ask? Because the devil actually had me believing that self-gratification was very important in a marriage so that it keeps one satisfied and also keeps one from cheating on their spouse. What a lie that was?
I was so busy celebrating my victory over pornography addiction that I didn't realize that sex and self-gratification had become my new addiction. It hit me like a ton of bricks one night when I realized that I was not allowing my spouse to arouse me. It was the fantasies in my mind, like the pictures years before with pornography, that was getting me aroused. Then I simply transferred the arousal to my wife.
Sexual fantasy addictions causes you to compare your significant other with your fantasy in a number of ways; by comparing their behavior, their beauty, their sexual skills as well as their willingness to want sex any and everytime you want it. It is these comparisons that are breaking up marriages and long time relationships. Sexual addictions and fantasy effects a man's view of women as a sex object, ready for sex all the time. Women become addicted to the sex toys rather than to her man. Both sexes are effected and destruction is sure to follow if you don't call out the problem and share with someone else about your struggles.
My "cold turkey" deliverance was not clinical, according to several counselors and sex therapists. Normally, sexual addictions take a lot of sessions to help you work through what caused you to choose this addiction early in life.
Why do some just pass through these addictions in their teenage years and keep going, while others get trapped for several decades until someone helps to pull them out?
After the Lord delivered me, He specifically instructed me to share my testimony with all those seeking freedom from sexual addictions. And to let you know that you can enjoy life without having to constantly think about sex. If you are married, control over your lust will enhance the love life between you and your spouse. For the first time you will not only be in love with who they are, but aroused by who they are.
If you are single, it is a little more difficult because you have to recognize in advance what arouses you and then make sure you never get yourself into a situation past the point of no return. In both cases, for control, the key is keeping your mind occupied with the Word, your goals in life, creative projects, poetry, writing, music, exercise. As the old saying goes, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." So you have to make sure your mind is not idly sitting around doing nothing but fantasizing about sex. Once you plant that thought in your mind, your body will not stop until you have fulfilled that lustful thought.
Immediatrely after my deliverance, the Lord assigned me to write a book about my testimony in dealing with pornography addiction, followed up by a workbook to share scriptures, revelations, scientific facts and statistics on your way to victory over this devastating addiction (
http://www.menletstalk.org
). It took 4 years to write the book and another year to write the workbook because pride had me feeling to shameful to let anyone know I was struggling in this area.
I have come to learn that what is a weakness in the world can be a strength in ministry as I can be used as a tool or beacon light to let others know there is a way out through the Word of God. I am a living example. My website,
http://www.anewdirection.org
is a ministry site filled with scriptures, confessions and other related links to assist anyone and everyone who is dealing with this addiciton or who know someone who is. Feel free to visit daily if needed or refer a friend struggling in this area to either visit the website or to contact me should they need the listening ear of someone who has been there but now walks victorious in that area through the Word of God.
Let's talk! Looking forward to your comments. And please, take this topic serious. Many have joked about it not realizing it takes you farther away from your healing, God bless! (Prov.3:5-6)
Category:
Religion & Philosophy
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