Blog: Toni-Lee on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 21
Sign: Cancer
State: Massachusetts
Country:

United States

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Blog Archive

2008

March

February

What I want to become!
Why do I care?
Breathing In The Cold Air
I AM SO EXCITED!!!
I miss my Danielle!
From His Touch
To the Effected Heart
If I could find this man.
The Light
To My Friends
New Day
Nothing Wrong

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2008 (10:08 AM)

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What I want to become!

(I'm feeling calm)

Here it is!!!!

I wish that I can become a sensless slut who has no emotion!! I wish that I could stop wanting love and just say "LETS FUCK!! HOW BIG IS YOU COCK!! ARE YOU CUT OR UNCUT!!!! I WANA POUND YOUR ASS TILL YOU FALL ASLEEP!!! I WANA LICK YOUR BALLS!!!!!" Yeah... life would be so much easier, so much less worry I think. Untill of course you reach a certain age when you realize that you dont have all the time you thought, and when people dont lust over you anymore and when you feel so lonely and when you feel the only way you can get a good fuck is if you offer money. No matter how horny I get, and how much I want to get dirty... For somereason it is not easy for me to go online and find a hook up. I dont feel comfortable having sex with someone I dont know. I have gone through that stage at a very early age. So I guess thats why I might not be having the luck I wish I could be having. Maybe its because people around my age arent looking for something real and serious, usually they just wana fuck and get off and move to the next guy. But me I am trying to find that something serious. See... I always go for someone different from the last person, i dont believe that it makes sense to say "I WANT SOMEONE WITH A 12 INCH COCK AND TO BE WHITE AND BLONDE AND BLUE EYED AND TO HAVE EACH MUSCLE DEVELOPED PERFECTLY AND TO OBEY MY EVERY WISH AND COMMAND." Because that would 1. limit you completely to nothing, and 2. is completely shallow and discusting. So each person i have been with have been different almost completely from the previous, this 1. helps me figure out what i really like and really dont like, and 2. give me the oppertunity to actually try to be with someone i might not image being with, because who knows if maybe what i feel isnt what i want because of what i have seen, might actually be what makes me happy. But with all that, I seem to have the worst of luck, I hate when people tell me that i have so much time and i dont need to worry about it, but really life in itself is short enough, so how would i really have time. And its usually the people who waited before finding soemthing serious. The people who gave too much talerance to bullshit and let it all slip through there hands are usually the ones who tell me to not worry and that i have so much time and i am so young. I want to worry, i dont want to wait, i dont want to let it slip through my hands. As much as i sit here and wish that maybe the way i think was different, If i could jump into bed and have no regrets afterward, if i could not care who i had sex with, then maybe my priorities would be different. Maybe i could be successful in my career goal by now, but then again, do i really want to be able to have anything but not someone to share my everything with? Do i want to be someone who has younger friends because they make me feel needed? Do i want to regret blowing over someone who might have been the serious love of my life?
But who knows, If i can become this sensless person with no emotion for sex, then maybe i will only have to worry about it later on in life.

Category: Blogging

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