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Why Mowing the lawn Sucks Butthole.
(I'm feeling sympathetic)
It has come to my attention, while sitting on the john... mowing the lawn is one of the dumbest activities a human can partake itself in.
Why not to mow the lawn:
1: When you mow the lawn, all you are doing is cutting thousands of plants a little shorter. Then, in one week... when all the little crappers grow about 1 inch, you have to once again, run a machine with a spinning blade underneath over the entire surface of your green spikes coming out of the ground... So the neighbors don't think ur lazy.
2: It makes my shoes green.
3: In all the time I have spent wasted on the lawn... i could have.
a) Taken up a hobby that involves something productive, such as hoola hoops.
b) Sat on aim and talked to my friends thus becoming more popular... so the lawn is the reason why i am not the most popular kid around.
c) Found a cure for cancer... think of that... if i didn't mow the lawn, we would have found a cure for cancer... sigh, dumb americans.
4: Mowing the lawn is for communists, and if you are a communist... we throw you in jail.
Look at me, I'm a dumbass!
Possible Solutions:
1) Don't have yards... and instead just dont plant grass, and have the natural habitat of the land we stole from the animals so as not to disturb the natural enviorment of our planet. (I am not an enviormentalist or a nature freak)
2) Plant more trees! Trees are way bigger and cooler (You can climb them) then grass is. I mean, who the hell doesn't want more trees in their yard?!? I sure as heck do.
3) Live in an apartment. This is an obvious solution i know... but a great one none the less. Perhaps more of a condo like, or a neighborhood which has it done by... well this just brings me to my next answer.
4) Have mexicans do it for you.
The End.
In the time it took me to write this... i could have mowed the lawn instead of complain about it.
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