Blog: QofSuz on LiveVideo.com

Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 36
Sign: Leo
City: Toronto
Country:

Canada

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You just cant hear me...can u read m...

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TUESDAY, JULY 22, 2008 (8:35 PM)

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You just cant hear me...can u read me?

(I'm feeling pensive)

Just when you think you have accepted the challenges of life, a whole other handful comes your way.

I have been grateful for the oppurtunity to look after my ill Mother. I know that I have made major sacrifices, and put many dreams on hold to be here at home with them, and to be able to help out the way I do. If I could have one wish, it would be for my sister to see how damaging her selfishness is to our family unit. Yes, I understand she is married with a child, but living 15 mins from my Mom and Dad- refusing to help out is absolutely ridiculous. To then chastize me, for living my life and taking a break to experience the love and happiness that I deserve is devastating to my emotional side.

I am taking control back, and no longer putting my life on hold to experience the pleasures I deserve. Everyone deserves happiness (whatever your definition may be). I want to be blessed one day to have a child of my own, a husband and a beautiful home. I have met one of my life goals by finding a job that I am happy in and can live comfortably off. She has a husband, a home, a child, and the pleasure of a Mother-in-Law whom she lives with, and was supportive to her when she lost her Father-in-Law whom my sister helped to take care...and the woman who gave her life, carried her for 9 months and made sacrifices to raise her, give her all that she needs, and love her unconditionally as she has loved all her children, she cannot find time to help out with, much less come visit whilst in the hospital.

I am disgusted and ashamed to believe that we share the same Mother and Father. Our sister-in-law makes more of an effort to help with our Mother than you who can't take time from blow drying your daughters hair to help with our Mother while I am out of town and our Father is sick. I just wanted to share with you my anger, frustration, and let you know how ashamed of your actions I am. And you call yourself a Christian? You need to read the bible, and practice it. Going to church does not make you a Christian or a good person.  Funny that you same one made comments about family members and their  bible thumping presentation,but when church is over, so is their faith.  MMMM, no wonder you have an amazing relationship with many of them...

My heart is saddened by the way you treat our parents, especially Mommy. Forget me, I am strong enough to stand to you, and I truly do not need you a part of my life. There are many strangers I know who have more compassion, and care for me than you could ever. But I do want you to know and realize how your actions (or lack of it) are affecting Mom and Dad. I am fully confident that when our Mother closes her eyes and meets her creator- I will feel incredible pain and loss but confidently I can say I will never feel the guilt. I know that I have done everything I possibly can to meet her needs. Guilt will be nothing I shall share with you. I only hope that through your selfish ways, you can still feel guilt and are riddled with it. You will never again have an oppurtunity to share or show her love again, once she is gone. And that is something you will have to live with. Remember, Karma is a bitch. Your daughter is seeing all that you are not doing during Mom's time of need. I hope in your time of need, she will have learned by MY example and not abandon you the way you have abandoned our Mother.

I am putting you on notice today. I am starting to take back my life. I am starting to feel things inside of me that I thought died a long time ago. I am experiencing new pleasures everyday, and refuse to feel guilt for feeling so good. I have attempted to have conversations with you to enlighten you on how your actions are affecting others and the impact your behaviour is having on Dad, and our relationship. You always choose to find excuses for your lack of action. The story is old, and the tales have become boring. Please do not attempt to rain on my parade. I have so much to offer this world, and choose to associate with only positive people with character, passion, compassion and love in their hearts, as I carry in mine.

This conversation was had for the last time...I am no longer allowing myself to be affected by your lack of actions. I refuse to give you that satisfaction. And as I start to experience more and more things that allow me to grow as a person and feel happiness again, I hope you will be there for your Father and Mother in my absence. It is pretty sad that Dad laughs when we have these discussions, knowing full well his heart is breaking because you are hurting him.

And don't bother complaining to our brother. He clearly has accidentally sent you text msgs that were meant for me clearly defining how he feels about you and your ways. And they say, everything happens for a reason! It was never a mistake that on not one- but two occasions, his upset, anger and frustrations reached you through texts. Texts that were made for me. I continue to laugh hysterically at those instances.

It is unfortunate that for such an intelligent woman, "you just don't get it yet!!!" I hope by the time you do, it won't be too late for you.

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