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You Never Know... So, ALWAYS remember! (Old, but important)
(I'm feeling content)
Due to extremely unfortunate events I will be relocating my life at this time...
I will miss my apartment, and life as I knew it...
Sometimes life takes us on a path that we weren't exactly ready for, or desiring... We must still be strong, and make any necessary changes to accommodate it... "They" say, "Everything happens for a reason." ... Sometimes we do not understand at the time of them happening what that reason may be, however, eventually, as long as we learn from it all, and grow and change for the better, in the end we will find our happiness...
I just lost someone very close to me, and while no one can help the thoughts of the, "If I only..." and, "I wish I didn't..." we must remember the, "At least I..." and, "I am so happy that I got to..." I hear people say all the time, "Live each day as if it were your last." They repeat, "You never know when will be the last time you see someone." Not many people tend to put those words into action though. SO many people have been talking about him to me. Many of them are upset about the last things they said to him, or the way they last treated him. The last time I saw him I was staying at his house, and he was leaving for the weekend to go to Arizona to visit his other cousin. We had a talk that day about what he needed to do in his life to make it better. I hugged him goodbye. The last things I said to him were, "I love you! Drive safely! Have fun!" I threw in some smart-ass comments for his friend who he was driving with. I waved, and giggled, and they drove away... I know that those of you who I am closer with know on a different level the way that I am... I think a lot... I love even more... And, I care too much... I always say that my greatest weakness is one of my biggest strengths... One of the things that the people who love me value so much, is the same thing that makes it so easy to cause me pain... I worry so much about everyone all of the time, and I always want to "make the world happy" every day... Today, I have to tell you, for those of you living scared of being hurt... I would much rather endure the small pain caused by the little things that I see people do attempting to take advantage of my nature, while I watch silently, hoping that they will prove that goodness is stronger, and inside of them, than look back, and resent myself for holding back the love in my heart... I know I cannot be a perfect person, I will never claim to be... But, I can look back at the way I have treated people in general, not just the ones I love, and be happy with who I am at the end of the day... I loved him so much, my cousin... He was like my brother... I KNOW that he loved me too, SO much... Most importantly, I know that he knew it... Because I told him... Sometimes, loving isn't enough... Sometimes you need to tell them that you love them... And, you all know how I feel about hugs... Sometimes everything can be made better with a hug, they say so much, without you saying anything at all...
I have a lot to do now, for the next couple of days, I will be taking care of my cousin (his brother, he is 26), and the kids (he had two, 1, and 8, and a niece, 9)... Making funeral arrangements, cleaning the house, packing his stuff, packing up my apartment, dealing with his bills, dealing with my bills, changing my address, moving, painting, taking over/learning the business, entertaining out of state relatives, talking with his friends, and family, figuring out who will take care of the baby, so on, and so forth... All the while mourning, and grieving in my spare time (He was 29 years old, his name was David)... Feel free to call me if you need me still, I will always make time... Do not feel guilty if you need me... I know that all lives do not stop when one does... You can also e-mail me, just please be patient for the response... However, please understand if I am not in touch on my own for a short time...
I love you, and I miss you!
~K~
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